seriously, nothing can cheer me up now. unless NEJ suddenly announces that there is error carry forward due to wrong formula used, which i noe is virtually impossible. finally i had some good goal and i jus failed to get it.

so now im jus drowning in my own despair, swimming around in the darkness. now i know for sure that i wont be able to get my 2nd upper honours already, so what do i do? wallow around in self-pity? or jus work hard and hope i do good enough next semester to get my 2nd upper?

its quite sad in the sense that i could have worked harder in my first three semesters and made better decisions. there goes my honours, seriously. :"( i wont giv up on myself.. but jus for tonight.....

everyone knows much i wish for a fulfilling relationship. but my real purpose was jus to forget all those shit i had gone thru in my teens. i guess thats not a good reason to start a relationship, so fate isnt giving me one at all. they say that one day, u will look back and smile at how dumb u were in the past. right now, im looking back and the best i can do is to prevent myself from breaking down and crying.

somehow, i kinda know how XXX feels. i need to find my self-worth back..... :"(