so why isnt it happening? why am i not exactly dying out in hall?

so i thought about it for a while, and realised. at home, is the same as at hall. im always home alone, locked inside my room, jus me, my books and my lappy. thats all to my life and i was living it great. then came some people who totally disrupted my quiet life.

lemme tell u my side of the story. some other lonely people decided to invade my life, and we the lonely souls kept each other company and not lonely anymore. but now, they hav all found new friends and better ones which they love more, and thus left me alone. so me, once with the quiet life, who had found the buzzing social life again, lost all her life once more.

its jus eating lunch alone... sitting in hall alone... studying alone.... and sometimes even going shopping alone. its not like im complaining about the flexibility of my schedule la! i mean, doing stuffs alone ish good in the sense that the schedule is super duper flexible unlimited.

dun talk about guys.. girls also... eating lunches with friends, i find that im being more fake than ever. i make stupid jokes to make ppl laugh, make myself the point of joke to make other ppl laugh.... i jus feel... so sian. even when im feeling so down, still hav to act friendly... jus so that people wont ask me "why are u so emo?" cos even if i say the reason, no one will listen. even if they listen, no one can help me. cos only i can help myself.

so why am i still not so used to the loneliness? its all cos of the friends i have. please stop showering me love, care and concern, unless u will stay fforever and love me forever unconditionally. which i know is impossible, so please, leave me alone.